Bondage, and BDSM, in general, have enjoyed a resurgence in recent years. 

This is thanks in no small part to the sexploits of Mr. Grey and his submissive cohort, Ms. Steele. But that doesn’t mean you need a red room of pain in order to explore those deeper, darker fantasies.

If you’re looking to take your sex life up a notch and ‘tie’ in some bondage, here are a few beginner’s rules you should follow to make it as safe and enjoyable as possible.

Open Communication

It may seem counter-productive to spontaneous sex, but bondage does need a little forethought and planning, and talking is the first thing you should do. There need to be boundaries drawn, and a safe word discussed, and the word ‘no’ is definitely one that should not be used. Choose a word that has nothing to do with sex so there can be no ambiguity, and once that safe word is set, abide by it, no matter how heated events get, because trust is key in any relationship, and even more so in rough play.

Know Their Triggers

This comes under the initial discussion point, but it’s worth a separate mention; find out if there are any things that are likely to trigger each other. For example, if gagging will trigger panic in someone who is terrified of suffocating, or if using derogatory name calling will bring bad memories to the surface, it goes without saying that these things should be avoided at all costs.

Knowing the Ropes…

…or handcuffs, ribbons, or restraints. Go shopping and choose your bondage gear together. If you’re new to this it’s always best to start off small, and by small we mean comfortable. Get each other used to the sensation of being restrained by choosing fur-lined handcuffs, or silky ties. If you go straight for something like a rope, and your partner isn’t used to being tied down, they may work against the ties and end up with friction burns.

Set the Scene

Unlike a romantic evening in, a bondage session doesn’t need candles and soft music, but what it does need is privacy. It will be impossible to relax if you know your roommates/kids/parents might come home at any moment, so make sure you have a free window of time, and lock the doors. Similarly, switch off phones so the pair of you can just concentrate on each other

Take it Easy

Now it’s time to play. Start off slowly, and experiment with different touches. Try using ice cubes on nipples, or a feather for a totally different sensation all over the body. If your partner is open to the idea of blindfolding, have an array of props to hand and alternate them so they have no idea what’s coming next. You can even experiment with sound – try talking with authority, or maybe saying nothing at all, especially if they’re blindfolded, as this adds a frisson of uncertainty and they won’t know where you are or when you’re going to touch them.

There’s no rush with bondage, so start off slowly, then only introduce one new idea at a time, and remember…ALWAYS use a safe word.

Let the Games Begin!

Looking for a perfect Bondage set for Beginners? Our "Everything Bondage" kits have all you need in one ready-to-play package. Black, purple, fuzzy, heavy-duty, leather - and more. You are sure to find the perfect kit to live out your wildest fantasies! (Featured: Everything Bondage Kit in Black)

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